Sunday, December 31, 2006
Where Are All the Good Men and Women?
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places Single and divorced people, young and old, all across America are asking themselves as they brush their teeth in the morning, as they shave or put on makeup, as they touch up the grey in their hair, "Where are all the good men? Where are all the good women?" "One in five Americans is single and searching," American Demographics magazine tells us. 8 That means there are forty-nine million Americans aged twenty-five and older who are single, widowed, or divorced. And their number is growing. "Good," you say, "but if there are so many Potential Love Partners around, where are they?" The answer is, "They are everywhere—looking for love—just like you." PLPS are sitting in the park munching a Blimpie, enjoying music at a concert, walking the dog, riding the commuter train, and going to restaurants all around you. Today, even with jet travel, on-line romances, and a shrinking globe, most people marry pretty close to home. Studies on what social scientists call residential propinquity show that Cupid's arrow does not travel far. In fact, one study tells us the mediandistance traveled by an unskilled worker to find his spouse is just five blocks. 9 Unless you've pitched your tent in the middle of the Sahara, you don't have to venture far for your hunting expedition. You'll outfit yourself with some new knowledge and, armed with the techniques in this book, you can start tracking Quarry very close at hand. You've heard the wail of unsuccessful lovers: "I'm looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for love in all the wrong faces." That's not the real problem. Most have been looking for love in all the wrong ways. Theatrical performers know they need a different set of skills to get cast from an audition than they need to sustain a role on stage. They must immediately knock producers out with their talent, sometimes in one minute or less. Likewise, you need different skills to make someone fall in love with you than you need to keep a relationship warm for a lifetime. You must knock your Quarry out—sometimes in the first minute or less. Without that strong first kick, he or she might never get to know you, let alone fall in love with you.