Sunday, December 31, 2006
Finally, Snaring the Confirmed Bachelor
Every now and then Huntresses eat their hearts out and tear their hair out over confirmed bachelor Quarry—the older, attractive man who is single and never been married. You've met the type. You'd think he could have his pick. He dates beautiful women and he has affairs with them. But his relationships never last more than a couple of months. When his friends ask him what he's waiting for, he just smiles, shrugs, and says, "Oh, the right woman hasn't come along yet." Is this type of bachelor Quarry lying? Is he determined to stay single until the day he dies? Usually not. Usually, he's not lying and, yes, usually the right woman for him just hasn't come along yet. What he doesn't tell you is that he means sexually the right woman hasn't come along yet. Jerry was the perfect example of the man-about-town everyone thought of as a determined, persistent, resolute bachelor. In fact, Jerry was the most eligible bachelor in his hometown social scene. He was good-looking, about forty, and very personable. He had an exciting job as the host of a local television talk show. Sometimes Jerry's TV guests would even ask him on the air, "Jerry, when are you going to settle down?" or, "Jerry, every woman in town is after you. When are you going to choose the lucky girl?" Jerry's answer was always the same: "The right woman hasn't come along yet." Huntresses, if you should find yourself attracted to one of these never-been-trapped Quarry, your mathematical chances of being the one to bag him are pretty low unless you have some special ammunition—special weapons that other Huntresses don't have. Armed with this special knowledge, you increase your chances of becoming the long-awaited "right woman" for the Jerry-type confirmed bachelor. I met Jerry while I was directing sexual research at The Project. I was a frequent "guest expert" on his show, and we became platonic friends. One night, after his show, we were having dinner together at a restaurant near his TV station. When I asked Jerrythe same question everyone asked him, "Why hasn't the right woman come along?" he felt he could trust me. He spelled it all out. It turns out Jerry had a secret, but he was so embarrassed about it that he could never tell anyone. Wringing his hands between stabbing at his fillet of sole, Jerry whispered his deep dark secret to me: "Sometimes when I'm in bed with a woman, I fantasize I'm the woman and she's the man. She takes charge and seduces me." "So?" I said. "What's the big deal?"