Hunters, you do (I hope) realize that the generalizations (many), the exaggerations (slight), and the humor (weak) in the previous chapter were simply to make a point. Lest you think I was man-bashing, let me now offer you a peace offering. Men suffer a bad rap for being less romantic than women. Naturally, if you do a survey of men or women at the mall asking "Who's more romantic?" the majority will say women. 48 At first glance, the evidence is pretty overwhelming that women are the romantics. Indeed, they are when it comes to saying "I love you," remembering Valentine's Day, and knowing "it's the little things that count" (like an engagement ring). But when it comes to the truly deep and important definition of romance, you men are the big winners. At some point in your life, gentlemen, the woman of your dreams will probably say accusingly (in response to one of your everyday "insensitive" remarks) that "you men are all alike! You're so unromantic!" My gift to you is the following. Someday it will come in handy, in self-defense. I've packaged it neatly in the form of a quiz that you can give her when she calls you unromantic. Who really is capable of loving more, men or women?
QUESTIONS MEN WOMEN Who falls in love faster? __ __ Who is more idealistic about love? __ __ Who usually initiates the breakup? __ __ Who suffers more from a breakup? __ __ Who loves their lovers more? __ __ Who Falls In Love Faster? Men! In one study, seven hundred young lovers were asked, "How early did you realize you were in love?" Men fell in love faster. Before the fourth date, 20 percent of men had taken the tumble, whereas only 15 percent of the women realized Cupid had stung them; 43 percent of the women still didn't know they were in love by the twentieth date, compared to only 30 percent of the men. 49 Women are more cautious about getting involved. Who Is More Idealistic About Love? Men! Another study determined that men had a far more idealistic and less practical view of love. 50 Men were not nearly as concerned with a woman's social position or how much money she made. More men felt that as long as two people truly love each other, they should have no trouble getting along in marriage. Who Usually Initiates the Breakup? Women! A group of Harvard scientists vigilantly followed the affairs of 231 Boston couples. Of those who split up, usually it was the woman who suggested the separation. The men wanted to stick it out to the bitter end. 51 Who Suffers More From a Breakup? Men! The men felt lonelier, more depressed, unloved, and least free after a split. The men reported that they found it extremely hard to accept that they were no longer loved and that she had really gone. What disturbed them most was that they felt there was nothing they could do about it. They were plagued with the hope that if only they had said the right thing . . . done the right thing. . . . In fact, three times as many men commit suicide after a disastrous love affair as women do. Who Loves Their Lovers More? Men! Men love their lovers more in relation to others in their life. Several researchers at Yale University polled male and female participants from age 18 to 70 and asked, "Who do you like, and who do you love, most in your life?" 52 The choices were lover (or spouse), best friend, parents, and siblings. Men, it turned out, loved and liked their lovers more than their best friends, whereas, with women, the rankings were about equal. Many women liked their best friends more than they liked their lovers! Gentlemen, the next time your lover complains, "You men are so unromantic," just show her these statistics and say, "Yeah, who says? Huh, huh, huh?" (On second thought, just say, "You know, dear, you have a good point. I'm sorry. I'll try to be more romantic. I love you.")