Sunday, December 31, 2006
"Excuse Me, Could You Tell Me Where . . ."
No exploration of the wondrous differences between Homo sapiens m. and Homo sapiens f would be complete without addressing the former's (men's) hesitance to ask directions. One of the reasons, I am sure, that NASA decided to have female astronauts is so there would be somebody to ask directions when they got to the planets. Even when a male driver is hopelessly lost, he seems constitutionally incapable of sticking his head out the window and TECHNIQUE #61 (FOR HUNTRESSES): STAY LOST! Huntresses, if your Quarry gets lost, bite your tongue until it bleeds if you must, but do not suggest he ask for directions. Never take it upon yourself to ask a stranger yourself while he sits there feeling like a larnebrain. Never. asking, "Excuse me, could you tell me where . . . ?" God bless the woman who shouts over his humiliated head to a stranger, "Hey, we're lost. I think we missed the turn." A man translates that statement into: "This yo-yo turkey got us into this pickle and now the incompetent, impotent fool can't get us out." Huntresses, if you're looking for the way to his heart, let him find the way to wherever the two of you are traveling. Hunters, the converse is true for you. When you use the following technique, your Quarry will know she's in the company of a rare man indeed. TECHNIQUE #62 (FOR HUNTERS): JUST ASK! Hunters, if you get lost, do the lady a favor. Lock your ego in the glove compartment along with the maps. Just roll down the window and ask directions. It won't kill you.